My stomach ached. Even the warm May weather and the beautiful rolling hills of the Palouse were not able to distract me as I nervously opened the letter. As I read the first paragraph, my heart sank.

“You are ranked in the bottom 10% of your class. Statistically, your chances of passing national boards are reduced.”

Tears streamed down my checks as I read each sentence.

It seemed each word stabbed deeper. Each blow, injuring me mortally. Failure. Disappointment. Shame.

Veterinary school was proving to be much more difficult than I had ever anticipated. Many of my classmates had spent years working at veterinary clinics before entering veterinary school. I had spent less than 50 hours shadowing in a veterinary clinic prior to starting veterinary school. Everything I learned during my first year was new to me. It seemed as though I has so much catching up to do.

I knew that I had struggled in a couple of classes, but I did not realize that my ranking fell at the very bottom of the class. The hours and hours of arduous study led to my passing, albeit just barely, of each of my final examinations.

“How could they be so skeptical?,” I silently asked myself as I reread the letter. “Why don’t they believe in me?”
I felt dejected. I felt abandoned. I felt shamed.

“How am I going to recover from this?,” I wondered as I climbed the steps to my second floor apartment.

Fortunately for me, there was someone to meet with. There was someone to talk to.

Dr. Ruby was a pioneer in Veterinary Medicine. Her visionary approach to veterinary medicine education and its inherent professional maladies were years ahead of the rest of the country. She understood the stress that veterinary students faced, and she confronted these difficult situations head-on.

I remember our first meeting as if it were yesterday. I sat on the couch in her office, trembling, as tears poured down my checks. I described how difficult it was for me to prepare for tests. I discussed the issues I faced with each question on multiple choice examinations.

She patiently listened. And then she listened some more.

And then she guided me through some techniques to help with my anxiety. She identified some patterns that prevented me from thinking through the test questions. She provided resources for me to read. She helped me understand that the issues that I faced were normal. She made me feel that I could do better. She believed in me; I could feel it with each appointment.

Miraculously, as the second year of veterinary school started and the examinations started to dot my schedule, my test scores began to rise. With each passing semester, my performance continued to improve.

My confidence increased as I mastered the material in each class.

By the time graduation came, I felt prepared to enter practice. I hit the ground running and have literally not looked back.

Not only did Dr. Ruby believe in me, but she helped me overcome the serious anxieties that come with the rigorous schedule of professional school.

I look back and wonder why that letter was sent to me. Was it meant to inspire? Was it meant to shame? Was it intended to discourage me? What would have happened if I didn’t have anyone like Dr. Ruby to help me through the darkest times? Would I be where I am today?

Failure is inevitable. It creeps up and stumbles even the most skilled on their path to victory. Our response to it’s overreaching nature is largely what determines our potential. As Alexandre Dumas observed, “There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die… that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.”

Dr. Ruby has been there for over 2,000 students at WSU over the years. As each class graduates at Washington State University, her influence and vision is passed on to another generation of veterinarians. Her impact is immeasurable. Her legacy is sure. Her vision is cemented in the hearts of those lucky enough to have sat on the couch in her office.

Dr. Ruby is a pioneer. She was one of the first mental health professionals to commit her career to developing wellness programs for the veterinary profession. She has taken on the most difficult challenges facing the veterinary industry. She has educated and counseled thousands of veterinarians about communication skills, stress management, life balance and suicide prevention. She co-founded the Veterinary Leadership Experience, a program that has become the model for veterinary schools around the world. In addition to this, she was also the founding Editor-in-chief of the Veterinary Team Brief, now called Clinician’s Brief, a peer reviewed journal devoted to professional skills. I am not aware of anyone who has given more to the veterinary profession in terms of professional life development, stress management and personal success.

I feel so fortunate as I ponder the influence she has had on me. She believed in me when others didn’t. She encouraged me when I felt like a failure.

How much better would we all be if we had a Dr. Ruby to turn to when adversity and failure creep into our lives?

Dr. Ruby inspired me. She encouraged me to rise to my potential. She helped me increase my capacity and helped me be the best I could be. She taught me that I could make a positive contribution to the profession. She helped me believe in myself.

Thank you Dr Ruby. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for encouraging me when others didn’t. Thank you for your kind and caring counsel. Your influence will forever remain in my heart.

And that is my take.
N. Isaac Bott, DVM